Forgiveness

The last week or two I have really been humbled when it comes to forgiveness. 6 years ago in June, my sister-in-law was killed by a 16 year old boy from Idaho. She was the passenger in her friend's car. They were going through a green light, she had her seat belt on. The truck with the 16 year old boy hit her side and there is no way she could have survived the accident. It was really, really hard on my husband's family. I remember having to call their family and friend's to let them know what happened. I remember being the spokesman for the family at the funeral and giving a talk that I didn't think I would make it through. I remember somehow the father of the boy got ahold of me to apologize and say they would fight against their own insurance when things got ugly between the lawyers and the insurance company. It was hard. Matt and I were young and it took alot of strength from us. Moving to Hawaii was a very good thing for us. We were able to get away and let go of some hard feelings and frustration we had.

Matt's parents bought a house 2 blocks away from the cemetery where Silicia is buried at. It has helped his mom alot. She is able to go over there whenever she wants. She has really had a hard time though. Silicia was the oldest and the only girl in the family. She was very close to her family, but especially close to her mom. I too am close to my mother-in-law and I have heard for years that she is ready to move on from this world. She has had bitter feelings and rightfully so. No one can know what that is like unless they have experienced it themselves. I love my mother-in-law and I joke with her often that she needs to quit trying to "Check Out" of this world! We need her. We love her.

This past week she has shown me something so amazing, something I wasn't sure she would be strong enough to ever do, and yet she has. She was contacted by her neighbor that a therapist had called her and asked if she was my mother-in-laws neighbor. ( my in-law's number is unlisted.) How did she know that lady was my mother-in-law's neighbor? The Internet:) She told this neighbor that someone needed to make amends with my mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law wasn't sure who she had wronged in the past, but was curious and called. She was told from the therapist that Tye the boy who hit Silicia needed to make amends. He is on drugs right now, and is down from Idaho in therapy for a month trying to change his life. The accident really messed him up. Of course it did. He was only 16. He is now married, and has a daughter that is 2 1/2. I asked my M-I-L how she felt. What would she do? For me this was so heavy to deal with. She said that all she wanted to do was hug him and tell him it's o.k.
This is coming from someone who couldn't believe things happen for a reason anymore. She hard a hard time understanding that it was Silicia's time to go.

She received a letter from Tye a few days later. He said he was sorry and told a little about how he was and that he wanted to talk to them on the phone or in person. My M-I-L called the therapist and they are meeting tonight at my In-Laws. My husband will be there tonight to meet him. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and sometimes we just don't understand why they happen. The therapist also told my M-I-L that Tye and his daughter were driving through the intersection where the accident happened one day and his daughter said to him"Dad there is a girl who is dead in the road and you did it". He said that Silicia has visited gim a few times. His daughter's name is Oakley. Same as my youngest. Coincidence? I am not sure. Is is coincidence that I got pregnant with Oakley unexpectedly while in Hair School and was due with her 1 year to the day Silicia died? I really don't think it was coincidence.

I am so grateful for this lesson that my M-I-L has taught me. She is so amazing. I hope that I can always remember that life is too short. That nothing is worth not having a relationship with your family. Family is all we have.